MUMMY
About the time I reached the age
When hairy hormones go rampage,
When lustful longings filled my pants
With neither by-your-leave nor thanks.
And my mother had gone out
For golf, to knock a ball about,
I'd sneak up to her dressing table,
Where with two mirrors, I was able
To see, by twisting here and there
If I had receding hair,
If my jaw was weak or strong
And was my neck too short or long.
Was I handsome, was I not,
These matters mattered quite a lot.
When asked, my mother said " I fear, No, you're not handsome Johnny dear"!